To Cipher the SIS
by vadess40
Summary: Short stories in between the main cut scenes between Crimsèn, my imperial agent, and Theron Shan. The first starts after the end of SOR and then they continue in KOTFE. Enjoy!
1. I let you leave Why?

**_Flashback..._**

 _After Lana and Theron parted ways, Theron looked at Crimsen and smiled bitterly. "What a ride, huh? If you'd told me when we met all the ups and downs we'd go through together, I'd have called you crazy," he says and then says lightly, "Maybe I called you crazy anyway. I don't remember anymore. Between all my family fun with Revan and the Grand Master, and then, well, you..."_

 _Crimsen cuts in and asked gently, "Care to finish that thought?"_

 _Theron replied, "I won't lie: You've been one of the two real bright spots in all of this."_

 _"Two," Crimsen asks, "What do you mean?"_

 _Theron said sadly, "Well, look, there isn't any easy way to say this, but... I mean, we both knew this would have to end eventually... The Republic exonerated me, so I'm back in the fold. And they gave me a new job A big one."_

 _Crimsen replied then, "I guess I can see where this is leading..."_

 _Theron nods. He says sadly, "Soon as we rejoin the fleet and make the jump to light-speed, that's it. No more truce. You and I, we probably won't exchange another word ever again."_

 _Crimsen replies, "Who needs words," before pulling Theron into his arms and kissing him in the darkness of Yavin IV's jungles. Then... they simply parted ways._

 _ **#  
Crimsèn's POV**_

Theron is gone.

I felt his lips against my mouth. I felt him in my arms. His smile, his laughter, his jokes. I loved being with him. He and I are so similar. He works for the SIS, I work for Imperial Intelligence. He and I came from force using families, but we both chose completely different paths. We felt a strong connection, perhaps even love. I could see myself being with him forever. And now he is gone, gone, gone...

I am an agent, I try to tell myself. Love is used as tools in order to get to gain information, get at the right target. I couldn't just talk him into staying as he and I are both going our separate ways. I'm a Cipher, he's the head of the SIS now. We're enemies. That's it, no more can become of us.

I hold my hand to my heart, as I feel it almost collapsing. This is not how I wanted this alliance to end. This is not how I wanted Theron to part ways with me. I didn't want him to ever part ways with me. Look at us- He and I were more a like than anyone I have ever met before. Not even my first love can hold a candle to him!

Damn it... I cannot take this. Just when I find a man who understands me, he gets ripped away. And why? Because it was time to go back to a war that for a short time was put on hold. Curse our faction differences! Do they really matter in the grand scheme of things? It's not like the Emperor cares about faction now: He wants to destroy everyone and everything that lives in the galaxy!

If only I had fought more, and showed him I did not care about our differences. Maybe if I told him what I really wanted to say back on Yavin IV, or maybe if I tried to convince Master Shan and Darth Marr that now is not the time for war when we have too big of a common enemy. I didn't. Now Theron is gone and I am once again alone. I pull myself to my chambers, the loneliest room on the Phantom. If only Theron were here to greet me. If only I could see him smile again. And oh... his lips...

I rummage through the tiny fridge and grab some bloodwine. I yank off the cork and just start drinking. It was all I could do to numb the pain. Numb my desires... But I'm a fool as it doesn't work. In fact, it almost makes this worse as I think back on what Theron said. He has no clue of what I really feel. I couldn't admit it because I was a coward and picked the wrong time to follow the status quo for once in my life.

I remember the last words we spoke to each other: I remember how he said I was a bright spot- a bright spot! And Theron was... bright for me too. Son of a force user, but went a different path. And then to meet up and set aside factional differences aside because there was something greater at stake was amazing. For once I could be open with someone. For once I could just be Crimsèn Hevilas, and shed the Cipher 8 mantle. I had been fighting so long to get rid of it after I reprogrammed my mind away from the Castellan Mind Control. Why did I not emphasize how wonderful it was for us to be together, and that we should not part ways now? Why did I not push for the small possibility that the Empire and Republic need not fight? Well I suppose I can answer the latter question: I am

I should have told him all of this. I did not. Why?

Oh yes, it's because Cipher 8 took over then. The Cipher Agent does that from time-to-time. And in the Cipher Agent's it mind it was simply illogical for the romance to continue: I'm Cipher 8 and he's with the SIS. He and I don't have genuine conversations, never mind fall in love. We shouldn't fall in love! It was a nice distraction in the midst of chaos. That's what most of my romances are. It's all they need to be. My heart, the heart behind the Cipher was crying out to me and saying Crimsèn what the kark are you doing? Why are you letting him go?!

Yet for once I do not want to be the Cipher at all any more. No more Cipher, no more locking my feelings away, no more deception behind a casual flirt. But the realization came too late and now I'm a fool. I am a fool... Theron was so... real to me. Why did I not suggest something, anything? Too long a Cipher, I no longer have the strength to fight for someone any more. Or worse, I have become so cold that love is just a means to an end, and then cast aside when it is not needed any more, no matter how much I try.

Now I'm back in Sith intelligence and stuck with Lana- Someone who almost resulted in having Theron ripped from me. I should have shot her when I realized she sold Theron out.

This is no good. This behaviour is not befitting a Cipher Agent. Theron is gone and he's not coming back. I need to distract myself; I need to unleash the passions so embodied within me as a sith. I need someone, anyone. But will anyone do any more? Don't care as anyone is all I have now.

I walk out and shout to HK- "HK! Set a course for Nar Shaddaa. Sith intelligence can wait... What gay bars are still open on the smuggler's moon?"

HK-51 replies, "Answer: None stored in my data-banks. However, there is a nice male dancer back on Rishi that I noticed was eyeing you in a way that you programmed me to notice. "

Rishi, where it all truly started. Don't get me wrong, I playfully flirted with Theron on Manaan when we first met. Yet, when we were on Rishi it grew beyond that. I have never worked so closely with an SIS agent, never mind for the same goals. Their spies are well trained and so skilled. In Theron's case, he had such a keen mind, and a better sense of humour than me. His ability to insightfully look into things and see the details for the greater picture almost stripped away faction differences until all I could see was Theron Shan the man, and I think all he saw was the man Crimsèn Hevilas by the end. It all happened on Rishi...

I don't need to go back there! I whirl around and storm up to HK, "NO you stupid droid," I said in a rage, "how **_dare_** you suggest I go back there now! What are you some cold, heartless, jealous suitor that wants to remind me of the one who walked away from me?! I should have you scrapped!"

HK-51 steps back and says, "Appeasement: But Master, have I not been good to you ever since Lord Noxturna gave me to you as a parting gift?"

I glared at HK and simply tossed my wine bottle at him. It shattered into pieces against the droid. I shouted at the wine-drenched droid, "Clean that up! Then set a course for... any gay bar in the galaxy that ISN'T on Rishi nor with the Republic!"

I walk back to my quarters. I say out loud, "Stupid kriffing droid... Re-phrase that: Stupid kriffing Cipher Agent. I should know better than to find sympathy from a psychotic droid."

It seems I am incapable of doing anything right today: Cannot fight for a man I think I've fallen in love with; can't find a good place to get a date; and I can't figure out that a droid can't feel so he can't give me sympathy.

You know what? To hell with this. A dancer or man-whore on Nar Shaddaa deserves better than my company!

"HK," I said, "When you get done cleaning lets just go to Kaas. Intelligence awaits its rebuilding." 

**_#  
Theron Shan's POV_**

 ** __**  
Wow, what a ride!

I go from a lowly SIS grunt to it's commander in chief. If anyone told me what would happen the moment I started helping with the attack on Korriban, I would have sent them to the medical wing. Yet, here I am and I did it by helping out alongside Imperials. Didn't think that would happen in my time either, but that is the galaxy for you! Thankfully, it is over now and we can go back to our old lives.

Well, sort of our old lives. Lana is the head of Sith intelligence, now. Who knows, maybe I can give her some payback for selling me out to our enemies back on Rishi. I don't care if it got us more information, you do not turn your back on your allies! Shows that Sith are all the same with some differences. Actually, wait, that is not true. There is one sith that stood out the most and may be the one that is out to break all the rules: Crimsèn Hevilas. He's of the sith species, and yet no lightsaber? That must have been hard to pull off. I only got out of the lightsaber wielding business because I have no force awareness. Was that the same for him or is there more to his story?

There must be more if he can still walk with such a stride, and practically showing off the fact his strong and muscular body have so many scars. Did I mention he also has a lot of grace and honour to his stride, too. He actually demanded Lana apologize to me for selling me out! For a spy, I am glad he did not take back stabbing allies very well. All things considered, he was an enjoyable companion, and sometimes I cannot believe what he and I shared.

As I look out the window on the Republic ship, my mind drifts back over the events on Rishi and Yavin IV. I have many fond memories: The laughing with Jakarro, even some of the chats with Lana, and feeling Crim's lips on mine. I also have one... regret? I am not sure. Crimsèn and I were an item I guess. I don't know, I suck at relationships. My last one prior to this ended because I found a note from her that we were done. It doesn't look better on my end that I read the note 3 months after she sent it. See what happens when you become a work-a-holic?

Though I think Crim understood those circumstances. He's the ex-Cipher 8, after all. He has probably had relationships for short periods, had relationships to get information... I mean I only guess that he has. I wonder if he has had trouble finding them since he admitted how not interested in women he is during some of our down time on Rishi? Or did he say it while the 5 of us were having casual conversations? Hard to know.

What I do know is he and I laughed, joked, cried, and kissed. I have used romantic relationships to get me places, but Crimsèn is the first one where I genuinely cared for the person. And I called it off. I told myself it was because the truce is over. He is Imperial; I am Republic. We simply could not continue past Yavin IV. It was a fling, it was not meant to last. Case closed.

And yet here I am, opening it up again. We are agents to our own factions... Why did I not decide to be with him anyway? We could have just met on neutral worlds like Rishi or Nar Shaddaa. No one on those planets care who you're with and our organizations would have been none the wiser. Heck, we could even have worked towards a more peaceful understanding between our own factions.

Oh well, I suppose I will never know what could have happened.

We are now back to our own intelligence agencies. If I seem him again, I probably won't recognize him. Yes, this is for the best. I'm sure we will just look back on this as a nice memory but nothing more. Know what is strange? Crimsèn seemed sad when we last spoke, and I could tell! Couldn't say that about some of the last girlfriends and boyfriends I had. This makes me wonder if his words of understanding were a façade.

They should not be a façade! This is what should happen, what has to happen. Though a part of me hopes I'm wrong and the façade is right. I was proven wrong when I thought I had Crimsèn figured out when I first met him: A duplicity, evil monster with the darkside rolling around on the inside. Yet, I was wrong. Very wrong.

What makes me think I have him all figured out now?


	2. Never Meet Again

Never Meet Again

 _The former Cipher 8 couldn't help but look at his companion underneath the dome with some fondness. Deep fondness. He was with Theron Shan again, a man he still cared for. Deeply. It's just unfortunate they're meeting at the end of a world. Ziost is never a good place to meet people, truthfully._

 _He says in a soft voice, "I… I thought we'd never meet again. It's nice to be wrong."_

 _Theron smiled a little at that despite his injuries. He looked down and nodded in agreement: "Despite all the awfulness on Yavin IV, it did have its moments."_

 _So does Ziost, but like Yavin, moments on Ziost do not last. The Sith Emperor had other ideas than allowing for a pleasant reunion. Darth Vitiate has an entire planet to devour, and he did not let a couple of spies get in his way…_

#

Crimsèn's POV

I just watched a planet get swallowed up by a monster. Darth Vitiate was originally a pureblood. I had hoped my people were above such a thing but I suppose not. He initially had red skin. I cannot believe I attempted to serve a man. All those people I interrogated, tortured, helped enslave, among other things were in order to help further his goal. The goal to annihilate every last living thing on Ziost.

Ziost was the planet I received intelligence training from. It is where I became a Cipher. It is where I became the size I am today. On a more adult note it is where I learned to refine my love making skills. And it got destroyed. And not destroyed by a fleet but by the dark side's master wielder who simply absorbed every last living breath. I went down there again today to pick up the pieces. During that time, I prayed I would not run into Theron's corpse.

I saw Theron again; it has been months since Yavin IV, and I was convinced I was over him. I was positive I was ready to move on. And there he is. He was battered and bruised, but to me he was just as handsome and as much the agent as when I first met him. In spite of things, I think we both looked at each other fondly. He was more than an old friend, and more than an old fling. And if I just watched his death from the safety of an Imperial ship, I think I would just want to die.

Thankfully, I find nothing. I leave the common soldiers to do their work. I have no interest in aiding in that front. Call me selfish all you like, but I have been wasting my time enough helping an Empire who's marked so much with betrayal it is impossible to know what about it is trust worthy anymore. And now this.

No, I must find Theron Shan. I have to know he is alive!

Thankfully I have free access to old HQ's records and computers. I search for over a week- No Theron. I guess Lana Beniko couldn't be bothered to keep track of one of the SIS' top men? Nostalgia or incompetence? Sith Intelligence is so much better off now isn't it?

I leave and sneak to the space just a bit away from Ord Mantel. Yes, I know how to reach Republic worlds. When I was a young Cipher in my 20s, I spent the majority of it in Republic space doing undercover missions. I have all their codes, know all their tricks. And I can use it to find a certain man. I say as I search their archives and frequencies to HK-51, "Any messages for me, HK?"

"Answer: There is a message from Darth Marr's ship. It claims he is making leads on the location of the Sith Emperor, and we should be ready to leave at any moment. The second message for us to rendezvous at his destroyer immediately."

I nodded, not really paying attention. I smile as I read the report: Theron is alive! I could go to him… Perhaps comfort him for being in such hot water with his mother and whoever this idiot Chancellor the Republic voted for is. What is it with our factions being controlled by idiots?

I tell HK, "Set a course for these coordinates, HK." "Advisement: Master, that is not where Darth Marr ordered us to go." I say, "Darth Marr?" "Answer: Yes, Master. Darth Marr has ordered us to rendezvous with his star destroyer immediately. He was found the Emperor."

I sighed. I need to find Theron, yet if I go now we could risk the Emperor making another world into Ziost. I said, "Very well, we will go to his ship." I look at the readings about Theron. I whisper, "Don't worry, Theron, I will come to you later. But the galaxy needs me now."

#

Theron's POV: End of KOTFE Chapter 1

Damn it, damn it, damn it. Administrative leave as Saresh tightens her hand more on things she has 0 experience in. This is not good; this is bad. It became worse when unknown ships appeared over Coruscant out of nowhere. They were neither Hutt nor Empire, but claimed to be part of the Eternal Empire. How many empires does this galaxy need? Obviously the Hutt Empire, Infinite Empire, and Sith Empire weren't enough.

I remember the attack like it was yesterday.

I was looking up information on the infamous Cipher 8. Seeing an entire world destroyed kicks you in the butt, and makes you realize what is really important. While I was in hot water career-wise, but it doesn't matter. An entire world got engulfed in flames. I needed to go be with someone. I wanted to be by his side, I needed to be by his side. He's the only 'loved one' I've got. Yes, I call him my loved one.

Seeing him on Ziost re-awakened feelings I thought were dormant. His eyes, his determination, his confidence, and his muscles when they are in action… I missed all of that and in the middle of all the chaos I could not help but metaphorically hold onto him. Even if it was a brief minute under the dome. I certainly was not going to let Lana Beniko be my source of comfort- Bruises of bruises, can never forget that. Best of all he let me take the leader of the 6th Line Jedi back to Tython! Not even Lana dared to question him really. She knew there was no way she'd win once his mind was made up. Makes me glad I never had to stare him down before.

Though I feared I would never get to stare at him again. Man is Crim good at covering his tracks—Glad his looks were not what won him the Cipher 8 title. However, I look in other places using the many gifts the SIS let me keep. I was smiling when I saw that he made it! He didn't die on Ziost. I'll just send him a message.

BOOM!

 _BOOM!_

 _ **BOOM!**_

Before I knew it the capital of the Republic was in a scale warzone again. It didn't take us long to fall to Zakuul. Darth Marr was dead, among so many others in the Empire and the Republic. Within months we were all vassals to the Eternal Empire. Amidst the chaos I realized that the SIS was no more than Saresh's puppet and my mother was not the warrior she once was. No one was and I needed to fight this Empire on my own. So, I walk away and attempt to fight Zakuul on my own.

I also travelled the galaxy to find him. Cipher 8 was missing. It was rumored he was killed along with Darth Marr. I couldn't believe that. At least not until I saw real evidence.

Finally, after a couple of years of searching, I give up and call Lana. I cannot call my "mother," as she'd never understand why I was searching for a sith. Not to mention she's mostly fallen off the face of known space. Glad she can just disappear while chaos ensues. To think I hoped she was better than many Jedi who simply vanish in the face of galactic turmoil. I was _certainly_ not asking any of the clowns among the Republic and the SIS. I could not turn to a senate who clearly has allowed itself to be enslaved to two puppet masters, and the SIS would never help me find a Cipher agent. And if they did I wouldn't let them, as I will not be the reason Crimsèn ends up in a Republic prison.

To that end, Lana and I meet in one of the few worlds not under Zakuul's reach. She tries to be friendly: "Theron it is… good to see a friendly face." I say, "Yeah, I wasn't actually expecting to make this call but I have no choice. Where is Crimsèn? Please don't tell me he was killed in action."

She shakes her head. "He is not dead but he is not on the move either. From my sources, I believe he's the 'Outlander' who killed Emperor Valkorian- Vitiate's new corporeal form and then Arcann locked him away in carbonite."

I widened my eyes at the knowledge. Crimsèn is in carbonite? For the last two years. Crimsèn is the legendary 'Outlander' many have whispered about in my travels. The man who killed Emperor Valkorian, which Arcann dubbed an act of war even though they attacked along the edges of the Empire and Republic first. My "lover" was alive but he has no idea I'm searching for him. He has no idea what has been going on, never mind how much time has passed. Would he still remember me? Does he still remember me?

"We have to rescue him," I said quietly, "We have to rally behind the name! He could be the weak link in Arcann's chain."

She nods. continues, "However, we cannot do so recklessly. I know a couple of defectors within Zakuul's ranks. They have been investigating for me. Theron, I know given our history I have no reason to ask you for any help but I will need your help. You have abilities and methods I do not have."

I look at her in the eye and I say, "Lana. I will help you. I…" I look down and take a breath and say, "I need to find him, alright? I will help pull together the resources we need to fight Zakuul and end this oppression. I didn't learn he survived Ziost a couple of years ago, and search the galaxy for him since only to let him die in some carbonite box! I…" I look down as I cannot verbally say the words just yet.

She nodded; was that understanding I saw in her eyes? "Yes, I know. You don't have to say it out loud, Theron, as I've always known. I could sense it and I could see it in the way you two were close back on Rishi and Yavin. Believe me, Theron, you're not the only one who's lost a loved one in all this. Help me and I will do everything in my power to help you get Crimsèn back."

I nodded. We continued talking about planning things. There was so much at stake now. The galaxy was going to hell in a hand basket, and we needed to pull it back and away from the flames. The only way to do that was to try and find enough people from the Republic and Empire to work together, instead of still being at war. Uniting factions is our only hope—I know that and Lana knows that. There has to be more left among the Republic and Sith who know that and are willing to set side infinite differences for the one thing we have in common: Restoring the galaxy away from Zakuul.

After we are done I sit in front of my computer screen. I work away at writing something—a note for if Crim ever gets up. I write it about a dozen times. Then I revise it another dozen times and send it. Then I re-write it all again and send it again. Dunno why I am writing so many drafts to someone who might not ever read it. Yet, I have to write it. I have to let him know that I care for him and I won't let him walk away again. I have to let him know that I will find him.

I have to find him. Everything and everyone depends on finding him.

#

3 years later

" _It's going to be a short trip. Might want to start briefing your friend here on what's being going on the last 5 years. HK, make yourself useful. Check the stabilizers."_

" _Five years? Five years… where are my people? Where is my family? Where is Theron?"_

#

 **Crim's POV**

Where is that hydro spanner? Why is it dark out already? Does the endless swamp ever see the sun? I make a face. All this ship fixing with the occasional song playing. We need to find a new hobby. Any hobby. I'm tired, I need to go rest.

Search the ship… there is a bed. It's not made and it is a bit rough but it'll do. Ever since getting out of the carbonite, I have been running around all day, all week, all month. No time for rest after getting out of my 5-year nap. No time to really process what has happened and no time to even attempt to find those I love. Are any of them still alive? Are my cousins still alive? My adopted parents? What about my grandparents?

So many questions, and they only breed more questions. No wonder I need some rest, among other things. 5 years without any contact and the only man here I have barely met. No contact from him, not even a friendly brush of fingers. Then again I'm not sure I want his touch.

I lay down and breathe deeply, try to relax. I need sleep; the Outlander is a mortal being. He needs his beauty sleep once in a while. More than that he needs to remember what it's like to be out of hibernation. I am uncomfortable; I remove my shirt, gloves and boots; I re-arrange the pillow and blankets; and I lay back down again.

I glance down at my body—it has some more scars. Must be from Marr's ship, as I did stumble a bit and got shot at during the battle. It also has markings from the medicines Lana and HK-55 have treated me with. HK-55… He reminds me so much of HK-51, and yet they are different enough that he is not HK-51. Where is my droid? What happened after I told him to flee into hyperspace?

I lay down again and whisper out loud, " _Theron…_ "

I wake up out of carbonite to Lana Beniko. She's all for the escape, all for saving the galaxy. While I am 100% gay, it would have been nice to get at least a hug from her. Words that it is all going to okay. It would have been nice for her to tell me _someone_ I care for is alive and well. Instead all I get is her berating me for choosing to save the people of the city instead of allowing millions more to die. What can I say, Lana? I developed a conscience over the years.

Theron would have appreciated my choice, like Koth did. Hell, I can see one of my cousins nodding in approval for it. In fact, I can feel their arms around me when they see I am okay. Lana said it verbally, of course, but have you ever been locked away with no contact from anything and anyone? Trust me, verbal affirmations only go so far.

I rub my chest as my eyes drift off a little. My own hands aren't enough but they'll do for now. I mutter as waking gives way to dreaming: "Oh Theron, where are you? I'm sorry I didn't come to you before going to Marr's ship." Theron was someone I could've turned into my partner. But bad choices and circumstances ripped us a part, and now I do not even know if he is alive. I bet he would have hugged me when I was thawed out. He would have let me touch him for a moment, maybe even briefly kissed me. Instead nothing.

I then see his face in my dreams. "Theron?" Theron smiles down at me and says, "If it isn't Sith intelligence hard at work." I smirk and answers, "Hardly working more like. Can't you see I'm catching up on my beauty sleep?"

He says in a low voice, "Is that a fact? Allow me to ensure your dreams are good ones."

His face then leans down and kisses me. It was more passionate than the ones we exchanged on Rishi and Yavin. It felt good, I wanted more. I deepened the kisses, allowed my tongue to taste him. His mouth was just like I remembered, so was his warm as I felt his body's weight over mine. I wanted more… But was he ready for more?

I suppose so as his lips left mine and went down to my neck and then he went lower, and lower. I said, "Theron, you feel soooo good… But are you sure you want to do this? You may have given off the impression that I am the first man you've ever even considered being with when we were together all those years ago."

"Shhhh… Don't ruin it, sexy. First or not, you need this." I then feel his mouth below my waistline and I cannot help but let out a moan. The speed picked up more and more. It felt so good to just feel his touch. When I finally came I bolted up with a start. I was alone, and my hand was on my member. I frowned at the warm stickiness all over my hands, chest, and the bed. I hate it when I have such a good dream that doesn't align at all with my current reality. And what's worse is…

"What?" Koth says, "What's so funny?" I hear Lana giggling and said, "Oh nothing; it's just I think our Outlander is having a good dream."

I shout towards the door: "HE USED TO BE! KEEP QUIET OUT THERE!'

They go quiet and then I'm left to be alone. Eventually I do fall asleep and my dreams are mostly of the Emperor and his nice little spot in my head.

I will come to you some how, Theron.


	3. Love the Sound of the Word

_Subject: For when you wake up._

 _I've written this message twice now. Okay, more than twice. Kinda weird writing something that may never be read. Lana says you're locked in carbonite, but alive. (Yeah, we're in touch. Long story.) I like to think you're having one crazy dream. And maybe I'm in it. But I don't want to presume. We never declared what this-you and me-is... was... Have I mentioned I'm bad at relationships? Another reason I'm a workaholic._

 _I'm rambling. The point I'm trying to make is—whatever's between us, I want you to know that I care about you. A lot. The whole galaxy's lost its mind. The thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that you're out there, and we're putting together a plan to rescue you. I might not be there—we've all got our parts to play-but I haven't forgotten about you or our time together. I never will._

#

Working on Odessen at my current station. So many potential allies to investigate, so many leads into Arcann's weaknesses. All within sight of my current close friends. There was Lana and Koth working away, and joking between each other. I give a smug look: She denies it, but I know those two are an item. Then of course Senya, so dedicated and yet eyes so far away. Would mine be far away too if I was fighting 2 of my 3 children?

Last but not least there is Theron. Or there was Theron. He was at his post a minute ago. Where did he go?

Don't tell me my 33-year-old eyes are failing on me. They can survive poison gas, being shot at, and 5 years in carbonite but tracking my new lover? Too much for them. Arms wrap around me, and I find my shoulders tense. "It's quitting time you know. Well, for normal people."

I smiled as the tension leaves my muscle; I rest my hands on his. How can he embrace me so well, given my frame is slightly bigger than his? "Midnight already? Time does fly when you're trying to prevent the galactic apocalypse."

Theron chuckled and rested his head against my back. It warmed with his touch. "It's always midnight somewhere, Crim."

It's so good to have his head resting there; it's so good to know he is here. Though before I had to watch him from a distance- Theron was often shy about expressing his feelings. I will not push but I could not help rest more of my back into him. I am here; he is here; we are in each other's arms. What more can I ask for? "Vacation." The words cut into my thoughts. "I just love the sound of the word. 'Va-ca-tion.'"

I smile and turn around so we are face-to-face. "This your way of telling me you want to go on vacation?"

Theron rested his chin on my chest while looking up at me. "Don't you love the sound of that idea?"

"After 5 years in carbonite, running around the galaxy, and finding you again… Yes, I do love the sound of that idea. I love the sound of it more for you, as I do not think you have slept once so far this week."

"I know," Theron blushed. "it's a bad habit. But what can I say—it's not easy to sleep when the galaxy is coming to an end."

I look at him with one of my eye ridges raised, finger twisting one of his hair strands. "I know, love, I know. But you cannot be all work and no play. I found you finally a month ago. It is not fair I have to miss you already."

Theron rests his head against my chest. "I'm sorry, Crim. Can I rest here for a moment? See, you don't have to miss me." I suppress a small gasp as I am blessed with permission to hold my lover in public.

Forgive my repetitiveness, but it I cannot help my pulse racing at how he's become so open about our relationship lately. He was a bit self-conscious at first and hesitant to show much affection in public. I know how he feels- I was hesitant at first when I was much younger. No matter how open the galaxy becomes, it is still weird to see two men together. I bet it's weirder for him to be one of 2 men together. A couple of days ago we were sitting in the cantina and he held my hand. He held my hand! Now, here we are just holding one another for anyone to see as they walk by.

I wonder if he's still hesitant because we never had a chance to really discuss things? True we talked during the party, and let our lips explore things, but putting faith in destiny without actually talking only goes so far. With a vacation, even if it is a mini one, we could talk and settle some of the confusion in the letter he sent me, which I still have by the way, and know what 'this- he and I' are so there are no doubts. I run my fingers through his hair. "I like the idea of a vacation, you know. I know the perfect spot."

Theron looked up, surprised by this: "You do?"

I reach to brush my fingers around his implants. "An old stomping ground of ours. During our time on Yavin IV, I found ruins that are quite secluded. There we can talk, and I mean really talk, about us without worrying about the alliance If you're up for it, I'd like to take you there and say and what I should have said all those years ago."

Theron nods along as I speak. "I like the idea. I don't think the Alliance will miss us if we are gone for a couple of days. Alright, Crim, let's take your ship."

Just like that we're off! So nice to be back on the Phantom again after 5 years. It's kind of empty now that my people are scattered to the winds. However, Theron is here with me. He makes the ship full.

# 

When we get off the ship, he looks around. "Wow... Just, wow..." he says as we head down the ramp. We landed on a nice platform that marked the entrance to an old Sith temple. We could hear the birds, and rumble from animals. I could smell the waterfall coming down and feel the cool wind blowing through my longer hair. Theron's hair didn't move, though. Makes me wonder what he puts in it? Yes, even after days of running my fingers through it I can still not figure out the product. I'll have to ask him sometime about it.

Theron turns to me. "I know you said why here back on Odessen, but why here? Why bring me here?" He looks down somberly: "I did not exactly leave you here with plans to meet on Nar Shaddaa somewhere."

I reach out and lift his chin and smile at him. "It's quiet, has some good memories, and it is where some of my ancestors have settled. Thankfully my distant cousins will leave us be."

Theron looked at me with lips parted slightly: "There is Massassi blood in you? Explains why you are so protective and so big."

I sighed, "Theron… I'm this huge not because of my Massassi blood, but because Imperial Intelligence made me this way. There are so many things intelligence did to ensure I would be the perfect Cipher agent. I'm just happy I was able to break free eventually and it served other purposes."

"Your height and strength make you a very comfortable man to hug, for example." I blushed.

"So, Cipher Hug-able, what did you have in mind for a vacation? I still love saying that word: vacation."

I grinned: "Follow me," before heading inside to a room I managed to get open. In it was a beautiful waterfall and a lovely pool that went deep enough that one could sit in. "Right here. No audience, no need for shyness... Just you and me."

Theron smiled, and then looked away, some his shyness in his expressions. "Is it that obvious I still hold back some?"

I nodded. "Don't worry about it, Theron; I was expecting things to move slowly between us. I'm guessing you have never been with a man before?"

Theron nodded, biting his lip. "Sure, I found some men attractive, like I found some women attractive, but to openly be with one, nevermind love one was too weird for me. And I'm weird enough as it is. I'm sorry for acting like a shy teenager, Crim. I know I had 5 years to come to terms with things about myself, but I did not really have the chance." Theron looks down, his brows knit.

I placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I understand, Theron. Being a bit different is never easy. And well I never was attracted to women but it did take me some time to come to terms with my sexuality. Thankfully, we are completely alone. You can hold back or be as open as you like. No expectations."

"I like the sound of no expectations, and I have been dying to truly be alone with you since I landed on Odessan. But," he admitted shyly, "I did not bring swim gear for this."

My eyes narrowed and my smile was sly: "Neither did I—you don't think that'll stop me from enjoying the water, do you?"

Theron's face turned so red. "No, no, no… of course not. Wait, are you expecting me to go... What happened to no expectations?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "Theron, there still are no expectations. They're called boxer shorts and I made sure there was extra in my ship before we departed. Swim, don't swim; skinny dip, don't skinny dip... It is up to you. I, however, prefer to go without any swimming trunks."

Theron shakes his head at me and laughs nervously. "I'm convinced self-consciousness is a foreign concept to you, Crim. If you're not wearing bright pink and purple one evening after destroying a star fortress, you are dancing with only pants on at the cantina."

I laughed. "I think you like it when I give into my flamboyant side. Those times are when you can never keep your eyes off me."

Theron looked at me and then at the water. His eyes shifted fast while he looked, as if debating what to choose between. Finally he scratches the back of his jacket and asked, "Well… Why skinny dipping?"

"Swimming without anything is quite relaxing for me. Perhaps it would be enjoyable for your too? And it is difficult to hide behind the façade of duty and reality when you are disrobed."

Theron took a step back. "Facade of duty and reality? Are you talking about when we parted on Yavin IV? I thought you understood? There was no way we could have stayed together the way things were! Or at least... If we wanted to be cautious and not risk one another."

I looked at my lover firmly and then dropped my rifle to the ground. It hit the rocks with a clang, and another set of clangs came out as I kicked it out of my way. "Of course I understood. And at the same time I was making the worst decision of my life: I chose to hold back and be the good Cipher, instead of fight for you. Well, I refuse to hold back and pretend any longer!"

I dropped my belt on to the floor: The first part of the façade, the one item that holds it all together. Regardless of what Theron chooses to do, I will live up to my words and uncover myself externally and internally to ensure Theron hears what I really wanted to say and that he sees the real Crimsèn under Cipher 8. "The last time we were here, you heard what Cipher 8 is supposed to say. What I really wanted to say was there is no need to end what we have since we are both spies! We know how to sneak into places, and we know where the neutral worlds are yes? I would have said you were so real to me because you understand me in ways no one else has. But I did not so here we are still shy around one another."

Theron is so silent. In his silence I stepped away from where we were standing and remove from upper armour: the black uniform jacket Lana gave me, the undershirt, and finally the cortosis jumpsuit. I look when I hear him take a breath. His eyes were on me and his lips parted slightly.

"You're. Beautiful," he said quietly, "and I walked away". His belt within seconds fell to the floor. "I'm sorry for just leaving you here those years ago. The more I look back the more I realize those words weren't really what I wanted you to hear, either. They weren't what my heart wanted to say."

I looked down at him through sad eyes: "Don't blame yourself completely, Theron," I said with a shaky voice, "I am the one who just let you go. The one day I chose to go with the flow and be the agent almost cost me you. If it weren't for the mess surrounding Ziost, it would have cost me you."

Theron slowly removed his jacket and shirt. I thought I would have to wait a couple of days for him to open up. I cannot help but stop to admire his courage, and his body. Theron notices my eyes and comments with a small chuckle, "See anything you like?"

I nodded with a small smile. "Everything." He came closer so our chests were against one another. He kissed me above where my heart should be.

"As I said in my letter, I'm horrible at relationships. Even with women I was horrible… I must admit you were an attractive thought, Crimsèn. It grew the more I got to know you—How many sith become spies with no force awareness?"

"As far as I know I am the only one who has made it this far. Many sith signed up and the majority of them either died on a mission, or Intelligence eventually did them in."

"And that is why I became so drawn to you. Why I am so drawn to you." Theron placed a hand on my left pectoral muscle and then slid it down a little. I shivered at the touch though did not move. It has been so long since I felt that kind of touch- I missed it.

Theron continued, "What you've accomplished isn't easy; walking away from what's 'expected' of you never is. Same can be said about me walking away from the SIS and going rogue. By all the rights in the Republic, I was expected to stay. But sometimes you have to do the hard things."

I reach to Theron and start rubbing his chest as he was rubbing mine. Nothing sexual, as I am still unsure if he is remotely ready for the idea of anything sexual between us, so I am just gentle. Thankfully he does not move away, or remove my hand. I hope he understands I just want to comfort, and I want to feel his skin under my hands for a change instead of just the thick clothing he likes to wear. I look down with a small sigh at Theron's toned and tanned chest. What a beautiful man, and I let him walk away.

Theron buries his face in my chest, as he so often does when we are alone, and admits in a muffled voice, "I was terrified I lost you on that world, love. Never mind my career, never mind the sixth line Jedi I sent. I could have lost the man I was falling in love with, that I have fallen in love with, because of my own misjudgment."

I wrapped my arms around him. "Theron, you had nothing to do with my presence there. Lana summoned me- I could not say no. I had to go there. It was not your fault. I was more terrified the Republic sent you there, possibly to your death. When I got the reports through intelligence and SIS sources that you were alive I was the happiest man in the galaxy. I figured perhaps I still had a chance… and then Zakuul."

Theron reached up and planted a kiss on my lips. I started to melt against him. His lips always tasted so good. "We were both spies, we could have made us work," he said softly, almost to himself.

I nodded with a smile. "Indeed we could have, but we chose not to. Perhaps it is for the best," I admitted quietly. I then slide my hands down his skin a few moments before letting him go and unfasten my pants and allow them to drop to the floor. I often feel pants represent security for men. We're fine when our shirts come off but heaven forbid we go without pants. I continued with reflection, insecurities and all, "We probably would not be here and alive if we had chosen to toughen things out. And I am not sure I would trade this for an ideal that wouldn't have come to pass."

Theron mimicked my movements so he was down to his boxers. He admits, "Yeah, I have thought of that. So much has happened in the galaxy that it is hard to believe it's only been 5 years. It feels more like 5 decades."

I nodded. I then took a breath and I stepped out of my boots and then slipped out of my boxers after stepping a little bit more away from him. I then smiled shyly, looking him in the eye, and walked away until I was underneath the waterfall. The cool water so refreshing in the midst of some of the emotional chaos that is in this room. Not every day a sith who has the red pureblood in his veins strips down before a Republic citizen. I'm sure Theron is still a bit nervous and unsure. So I turn around to him and said, "You do not need to remove the rest of your clothing if you do not want to, Theron. The water is great- I want you to enjoy it in the way that you are most comfortable with."

From the look he gave me, I could see he was tempted to keep his boxers on. But courage and perhaps desire got the best of him, and he soon joined me with the last of his clothing left behind. The water was a bit too chilly for him, as he embraced me the moment he got close enough. I chuckled. "Don't worry, and I am warm, yes?"

Theron nodded, "I know. I know you're here, and I can feel your warmth. The first person to actually **be** here in my life instead of trying to just direct it.

I ran my fingers through his hair as I eased us down so we were both sitting. I said in a voice that was shivering with nervousness, "Theron… I love you too. I have been falling in love with you since the day I met you on Manaan those years ago."

"And that is why I will never walk away without you again." Then he kissed me. It was more passionate than any of our kisses before. The way his hands moved against me were different than before, they were as erotic as the dream I had of him earlier. My senses were becoming a light to the point where I would soon lose control. And control lost before Theron was ready is not a good thing, so I pulled away. "Theron, if you're not ready to make love… "

Theron said, "Shhhhhhh…" as his lips moved along the part of my chest that was above the water. I let out a small moan when they grazed one of my nipples. His voice was so low and so hoarse... "I am not ready but I have been waiting to show how much I love you for 5 years. The days of holding back are over."

The cold water that falls from a waterfall is such a stark contrast to the most heated of passions. Passions that have waited 5 years to be surrendered to. The emotions and the tensions that were released when we finally cried out each other's name I never felt before. Never felt it with my first love, all those people I used in the name of Imperial Intelligence, and never felt it with my past flings. It was all just so much and so complete. It was amazing.

Going back to the ship after the sun set and making love again was just as amazing. Whatever shyness Theron had before is gone. I couldn't help but look at him with surprise at the passion coming from him. He chuckled and said, "Have I impressed you?" I do not answer. I only pull his mouth to mine again for another round.

When we were done, and settled under the covers I pulled him tighter against me. "Crim," Theron speaks quietly, "I love you. Don't go getting yourself killed, all right?"

"I will strive to stay alive, Theron. But please don't let me lose you so soon after finding you again?"

Theron does not say a word at first. He just kisses me deeply, and then goes back to cuddling under the covers. "I could never be that cruel to you."

As we lay there, I hope and pray "destiny" has enough compassion left for the two of us. Otherwise, Arcann and his Empire do not prove to be our end.


	4. Safe in the Stars

Safe in the Stars

 _((Since Crim got all of part 3, Theron gets to take over in part 4. Enjoy!))_

The Star Fortresses we targeted are gone. Hoth, Tatooine, Alderaan, Nar Shaddaa, Voss, and Belsavis have been liberated. It is a wonderful thing, liberating a world. Oh look at me, becoming SO sentimental. Must be something in the food dispenser on this little ship.

I head to the bridge where our pilot is and a… "Oh dear. I think chasing down those star fortresses across the galaxy has knocked our Outlander out." I whisper this quietly. I don't want to wake him.

"I think Crim has earned a small nap, don't you?"

Miot whispers to me in his native language, He passed out a few moments ago. I would too if it weren't for us needing a pilot.

"You go ahead and rest, Miot, I can pilot for a little while."

Miot bows and slowly heads to where the sleeping quarters are. I sit in the pilot seat and glance over to "sleeping beauty." Crim always talks about beauty sleep—Now that I have a chance to get a good look at him while he's asleep, I can see why. Then again Crim is just as beautiful when he's awake: The silver eyes, the deep red skin, the way the grooves and ridges shape his face and chest, and the compassion and determination you see when you look in his eyes directly. Beautiful…

I smile at his sleeping form and just watch. A few times I see him tremble and his shoulders becoming tight. Is he dreaming about carbonite? Valkorian in his head? I reach over and squeeze his hand. His shoulders relaxed; good, he should know I am here. But his shoulders start to tense again, and his breathing quickens so I quietly I put the ship on autopilot and I move over to where he is sleeping and adjust things so he is underneath me. "Easy, Crim, it's a dream. You're safe with me, now."

His features softened again and his breathing calmed. Does he know I am holding him? He answers my thoughts: " _Theron..._ " in a quiet tone.

I rest my chin on top of his head and , Crim is safe with me and in my arms for a little bit. He was not in carbonite, he was not on Zakuul, and he was not in a past he almost never talks about. He is safe with me.

A few more minutes pass by. I run my fingers through his hair a little, and his chest rises and falls slowly. I think his dreams are good now; I hope they were good now. Eventually, his eyes open a crack: "Good morning, sleepy sith," I said quietly, "were your dreams good?"

Crim nods with a small smile. He yawns and snuggles more to me. I am glad Miot isn't here to watch this: A giant sith snuggling up to the smaller me? Amusing sight.

"Is the chair comfortable?"

Crim's voice is still filled with sleep when he answers. "It's passable. Not quite like the beds on Odessen but not as rough as some of the places I had to lay my head down before. However, you made it more enjoyable."

I relax in the chair while Crim yawns again; I enjoy our shared warmth. "I hear ya. The cold snow of Hoth with a portable sleeper was not fun."

"Sleeping on Taris was no better, if I recall correctly. Of course nothing is comfy when it's near a known rakghoul nest!" Crim looks out the window and goes silent.

I looked at him curiously. "What did you do on Taris?"

"Helped some Sith drive the Republic off world. I didn't want to but I had no choice. Intelligence has ways to get their agents to behave."

" _Get you_ to behave? As in make you behave, regardless of if there was an alternative to driving the people of Taris from their homeworld?"

Crim looked down and a way.

I stiffened, assuming his reaction meant his answer was a yes. "Did... Did they give you the Castellan mind control?"

"You… You know about that? How?"

My grip around him tightened. "By snooping for reasons to stay onboard. Instead I found a _very_ good reason to leave. The SIS' old leader used it to control Cipher 9 when the agent got the codename Legate. I'm not sure if the Cipher actually defected or was simply being the double agent. Whatever happened to them?"

Crim shook his head. "I don't know. Cipher 9 was one of our best and most loyal. Just like I was willing to give Intelligence my all. Yet we both received the Castellan treatment. Mine was administered during the acclimation process."

"Why would they do something like that? Did… were they unhappy about your sexuality?"

"No, no, no… Intelligence doesn't give a kriff about sex, so long as you can get the job done. I was considered high risk, Theron, because I am sith. They feared I would turn on them the moment my people said go. So they brainwashed me, and programmed me to ensure it wouldn't happen. I figured out how to undo the programming about 7 years ago now."

Crim's shoulders slumped a little, and looked out the window. He was looking straight out the window, and was a bit far away. I reached one hand for his heart. "I'm sorry for bringing it up."

Crim still looks out the window and his voice breaks. "It is alright, Theron, it was along time ago."

I know I should drop the issue, but I had to know: "Crim, is it gone? Are you safe?"

He nods but doesn't look at me. "That's good then... Are you alright?"

Crim shrugged. "I will be. I am just not... Well, let's just say I did things underneath the mind control I'm not happy with. Worst of all I do not know how to start apologising for it as I did not choose to do these things. I was literally _forced_ , not trained, to follow orders."

I run my fingers through his hair, and attempt to comfort. However, he is still far away. He's not where I want him to be. "Love?"

Crim turns to me and I look at him, with my hand cupping his cheek.

"What you did in the name of the Empire is nothing to be ashamed of, regardless of if it was done under the mind control or not. You were protecting your own people and did your duty. Just like I did for the SIS. Don't let yourself be judged by people hiding behind a desk or people using a keyword to get their dirty work done."

Crim sighed and then leaned against me. His eyes still seemed far off in the distance. Crim cuts into my thoughts with a quiet voice: "I know; I know… Although it saddens me when I think back on it. I'm worried about what you'll think of me when you find out the truth."

"You mean when I find out you are far from an innocent bystander? Would not be a good time to tell you I'm not either?"

Crim still looks out the window. Then his face and eyes were buried in my chest. So much emotion and he's comfortable expressing it with me? The man who locks it away so often? I'm trying to think of why he is with me.

Crim looked up at me, eyes finally coming back to the here and now.

"I worked for the SIS. I had to make hard choices. For example, how many of your people were killed on Korriban because I helped plan that attack to get information against the Empire? Re-phrase: How many of your people died during that raid that I did not care about? I'll be brutally honest: I didn't care about it at all during the event. I do now but the caring is an afterthought."

Crim, miraculously, didn't pull back. "Many sith died in that. Not as many as what Zakuul killed, but it was many. However, I did look into your records when we first met, Theron. You have done good work for the Republic in ways that have helped the Empire's people. For example, I am glad you helped pull a part some of the Sith Empire's slave rings. A barbaric practice my people should end."

I looked at him. My breathing was steady though my eyes betrayed that I was filled with a bit of joy at hearing this. "You're happy about that? I thought slavery was a sith thing?"

Crim nods and kisses the side of my head where my implants are. "It is a practice I observe, not endorse. My parents had slaves and I hated it, and this went on for years- long before intelligence enslaved me with their brainwashing. We are a wealthy faction, or at least we were, there is no reason every one of our people cannot work for a fair wage!"

"Are you also happy that I was responsible for the death of a Darth Mekhis, planned the destruction of a key area of your people's home world, and ended up slicing much of the Empire's records?"

Crim blinked, expression unchanging. "Are you too upset with me that I imprisoned 3 SIS agents on Ziost," and I completed his sentence: "And helped get Havoc Squad to defect? Not particularly."

"How in the hell did you find out that was me?" He pulled back to look me in the eye.

I shifted a little in the chair. "I _may_ have used my SIS powers to look you up after we first met."

"So I was right- You did have a little crush on me."

Crim chuckled as I blushed and looked away shyly. "Since you just admitted to looking me up, I'd recommend against complaining."

"It seems we have interesting ways of getting to know each other. Next time I think I will just take you out for dinner."

"Dinner sounds nice... And to put it bluntly, who wouldn't have a crush on you, Crim? I'm amazed you do not have hoards of men and women trying to grab at you. Look at you! Your muscles, your hair, your eyes…"

"My scars?"

"I think scars bring out your best features. If you don't mind me asking, how did you get them?"

Crim was silent for so long, I feared I had touched a nerve. Again. When he did speak, I was not quite prepared for the answer: "The scars on my face are from the one time my father gave me lashes. The ones on my chest are puncture wounds and electricity burns from my mother and father. They gave them to me as part of strength training: It was to instill anger and hate in me so I would become a powerful Sith."

I looked down at him as he spoke. I wanted to see the scars he was describing so I pushed away the fabric of one of his leather jackets. It was rather easy to do since the jacket was open already, with his chest was exposed. My fingers gently ran along the scars underneath the fabric. He shivered a little bit under my touch and some of his skin almost pushed against my fingertips.

"Are your parents still alive?"

Crim answered quickly, "I don't know and I don't care. All I can say is all their attempts to map out my destiny failed; I was made to be different I think. Anyway, some of the newer scars are a result of being treated for carbon poisoning."

I smiled, my fingers still moving across his skin. Crim looked in my eye. "Still like what you see?"

"Of course I do. Then again, does it matter if I do? You seem to have no problem showing your best bits off."

"Well there are strangers and then there is you."

Crim then lifted his head up so our foreheads were touching. My hand continued to move around his scars. He closed his eyes, clearly liking the touch. "Do you have any idea how much I had to resist kissing the kriffing daylight out of you when I first saw you on Odessen?" he asked.

"I have some idea as a part of me wanted you to do it. But I wasn't sure if you remembered me, was angry with me, or if you were going through enough as is." I looked away and went back to when I first saw Crim again after so many years. "The truth is I looked for you, Crimsèn. I looked for you for the first 2 years you were in carbonite. I had to find you; needed to find you."

"I was going to look for you, love." Crim voice was low and full of regret. "I found you just as I got the call to go to Darth Marr's ship. I was so afraid you died on Ziost, even though I remember you taking the Jedi Master away. I do not know why I am telling you this; I thought you should know."

I closed the distance so our lips could meet. Mine were firm, but his were a bit gentle. I could feel his heart pounding against mine. I could feel his breath against my skin when we broke a part. "Marr's ship was the last time I felt any good contact from a person. When I got out of the carbonite I would have done _anything_ for a hug, I missed it so much. I missed you so much."

"And yet there I was holding back as the good professional. And when we became officially lovers I was still being shy..."

Crim rubbed my neck. "I understood why you were shy. New relationships shouldn't always be jumped into. I was just happy to find someone to love after being nothing but duty and war since Marr's ship."

"What happened on his ship?"

"He summoned me and HK-51 because the Emperor had been found. I told HK-51 to stay in my ship. Then I went to the bridge and spoke with Marr. Then the attack happened. Everything happened so fast, I told HK to flee into hyperspace. Then Marr and I met and tried to salvage but it was too late. I told everyone to get to the escape pods. Then my world went black. I woke up to be on Arcann's ship. That was a long trip to see the Emperor. Marr was there. He died refusing to kneel before Valkorian. I refused to kneel before him as well. I was ready to accept my fate. But then Arcann cut my binders and then attacked his father. I shot him in the chest the first moment I got."

"And that was the convenient excuse Arcann needed to attack the Empire," I thought out loud Crim's words. So he did kill Vitiate's latest reincarnation? But not without help, a convenient piece of info Arcann forgot to mention.

"If that was all it took to lead to all this chaos," Crim muttered into my thoughts, "I think I would have revised my actions. After all you could've died in the assault and I would have awakened to having no one."

I pulled Crim to my lips when he said that. His jacket dropped to the floor as my fingers ran along his chest and arms. "Do not think like this, Crimsèn. I would have taken the shot if I was in your position that day. Besides, Zakuul was coming with or without your help. Arcann would have found an alternative to seize the throne. What is important now is you have someone, and he's right here. Not going anywhere. And I will guide you to victory like I guided you through the Star Fortresses."

"Can I touch you?"

I smile and toss my jacket and shirt on another chair. Crim ran his fingers along my skin, around my implants. He looked at them with curiosity. "Where did you get them?"

"From the SIS. They implanted them in me to ensure I'd be fit to do some of the most dangerous of missions. They secrete pain killers into my body when I get injured, and they sometimes pick up radio frequencies. You DON'T want to know more about the radio frequencies than… that…"

My words slowed and Crim's lips moved from close to mine to along my skin. "Love," I whisper, "careful. We shouldn't wake up Miot."

"But I need you," he trembled, "however, if you do not want, I will cease."

"Who said I didn't want? Just careful. I don't want to Miot a heart attack upon catching us." Crim giggled and went back to tasting me.

I quickly stopped caring if Miot, Lana, or even Arcann himself walked in on us.


	5. Bounty Hunters

A tall, muscular sith pureblood walks up to a cathar standing with his bodyguards in the Lower Promenade area of Nar Shaddaa. The contact's name is Otheros. Otheros is a tall cathar, with jet back hair as a main that covers the back of his head completely. His face is covered with gray fur and some mildly reddish hair.

The pureblood decided to use one of his 'party outfits' today: He is wearing a shiny body suit that is cut open in discreet areas the sides of his waist, and cuts down his right and left thighs. He ensures his body language is casual; no need to attract attention to this 'business' meeting. He raises his voice to Otheros slightly so he could be heard above the music: "You took out a contract?"

The cathar turns to the sith and nods. "Yes, that's me- Otheros, owner of the Haven's Blaze casino."

The sith offers a hand that the cathar shakes. "Crimsèn. Tell me about this target you've placed a bounty on."

Otheros frowns and shakes his hands in frustration: "I'm concerned about the 'debt facilitators' hired by the Lucky Runner casino. They're nothing more than gangsters. Street scum- like their boss."

He shakes his head in frustration and continues, "I'm tired of people thinking we're all criminals. The Haven's Blaze is a legitimate establishment; what's more, these thugs are killing our potential customers!"

Crimsèn crosses his arms and shrugs. "Sounds like you're looking to eliminate the competition, if you ask me."

Otheros steps forward, his arms spread out as he leans closer to the agent. "Competition only makes we work harder. I welcome competition. This is entirely different."

Otheros hands Cipher 8 a small datapad with intel. "I've taken the liberty of compiling a list of the places one might find these brutes," the cathar says as the Cipher scans the contents, "nowhere respectable, to be certain."

Otheros turns around and says in a huff voice, "Now, please excuse me; I'm quite busy," and heads back into the crowds.

Crimsèn heads down the stairs and towards the Slippery Slopes cantina. He walks up to a man with brown, spiked hair with a black leather jacket. He wraps his arms around the man and whispers, "Ready, Theron?"

"Always. Though is this necessary?" He turns in Crim's arms and shakes his head. "I know we need the cash, but becoming bounty hunters?"

The Cipher smiles and rubs Theron's back. "Don't worry, I'll do the bounty hunting. You just go ask questions, get information."

Theron nods as they head to the exit. "I know, I know, pretend to be the spy again." He gets on the back of the speeder bike they brought. "So, where to first?"

"The one place on Nar Shaddaa where everyone is dying to gossip about anyone- Star Cluster Casino."

When they reach the casino, the pair split up to cover more ground. The Cipher politely joins a crowd and sees a rather handsome gentlemen that keeps to himself. He summons a serving droid as he casually walks to the man, and gets him a drink. He bows slightly before the person he is being a benefactor to. "Up for a friendly chat?"

The man grins and takes the drink. "For a handsome sith such as yourself? Much appreciated. I will tell you what I can."

Crim grins and pulls out a small datapad. As the two are conversing, Theron finds a character who is keeping to herself. He looks at her and says quietly, "Hey- This one's on me. I just want to ask you some questions..."

She nods with a smile. "Now, that's how a gentlemen asks for information. Have a seat."

Theron sits close to her and they whisper the conversation. After a few minutes, the Cipher agent moves on. The next few potential speakers are either rude, or ignore him completely. And his senses get a bit rattled after a minor brawl breaks out. Frustrated, he walks up to another one and whispers in a rough voice: "You will talk."

She looks at him with a shock and waves a hand, summoning a couple of giant body guards. She shouts, "Think you can push me around? Got another thing coming!"

Crim grumbles as one of the bodyguards grabs him from behind. But the Crim is stronger, and a couple of punches later two body guards are knocked out at his feet. Theron runs over, shouting, "No time like the present!" and punches her out. She drops a datapad. Crim grabs it and reads as Theron walks up and kneels in front of his lover.

"You alright," he asks with a pant.

Crim nods. "Got a bleeding lip but beyond that I am alright."

"Next time, sexy, don't tick off the locals," Theron says while dabbing at his lover's lips.

Crim smirks and states, "I think we have enough information to move against the target. Shall we?"

Theron nods and they head off into the crowd. "We can head out tomorrow."

Crim walks into his new home on Nar Shaddaa after Theron parks their speeder: A bounty is done, and more money is in the bank. They will need it when the Alliance runs low on supplies again. Theron pulls Crim close to him. "Let's make tonight about us, and not about the galaxy?"

Crim looks down with a raised eye ridge. "Bounty hunting turn you on?"  
Theron smirks and runs a hand down Crim's exposed chest. "You turn me on. And you are better company than Firebrand..."

"I should have shot her the moment we were reuinted."

"You can shoot her later; now we need all the allies we can get." Theron pecks Crim's cheek and walks ahead, "I'll contact Lana to assure we are not lost, and then meet in our little apartment. Then clothing will be optional."

Crim nods with a wave and enters the room. Theron should be a few minutes, yes? A few minutes is all he needs to pretty himself up. In their apartment is one bedroom, and it has a couple of warddrobes and a full body-size mirror. Crim rummages through one of his wardroves and pulls out a small, round container. He looks up to listen, and smiles when he does not hear footsteps approach the door. Good- Crim wants this to remain secret. He is a spy, gay, and a man who wears makeup. He doesn't care if people know about his sexuality, but he will never talk about his grooming habits.

That would be too much for the galaxy to handle.

Crim opens the container and pulls out the item contents: Some mascara, lipstick, foundation, creams, and various eyeliners. For the record, Crim is not a woman in a man's body, though he has nothing against women who are; however, since around age 13 he loves the moments where he can put on make up. A desire he can go months, years without giving into only to find himself applying and re-applying make up for hours unend. He mutters, "You'd think I would accept this about myself by now," as he pulls out the eyeliner and starts working. "Unfortunate the galaxy is still rigid in gender roles. No one is allowed to cross the line. Yet here I am, crossing it."

"Hmmm..." he says to himself as he examines his eye-linered eyes, "It has been too long, yes? If I had more time I would bring you out more, and then some."

He grins when foundation comes into his hands. The grin gets deeper as he sees his skin slowly darkens into a deeper red. He decides to put in contacts so his eyes would be a deep red, instead of their usual silver.

His hands then shyly dance along the "altar" of makeup and other items. "What next... " he muses. He decides to pick up another eyeliner to draw around his ridges and mouth. He smiled as he watched his face slowly transform. He then opened up his armor so he could more easily get the grooves on his neck, and soon they stood out. "Perfect. Absolutely perfect. You are looking beautiful today, Crim."

His grin gets wider as the grooves on his nose stand out as much as his neck do. His grin is toothy, and his eyes are bright when he sees himself looking back through the mirror. "So sexy, Big Red, and so... Yes, my beauties, you do not get out to play with my skin very often."

He looks down. It's hard to imagine after coming to accept oneself after 33 years, he still feels some shame at putting make up on. A simple means to help improve one's looks, and had such rigid rules in terms of who can and cannot use them: Represents his inner self acceptance and inner shame at who he ended up being. He frowned for the first time since he began. "Pathetic isn't it, my pretties? I am more ashamed of you than dancing nearly-naked on a table after a night of drinking."

The makeup offers neither comfort nor answers. They just sit silently as Crim washes his face off and applies more in a different way. He repeats the ritual a few more times, each enhancing different aspects of his face. Finally he settles on an arrangement closer to the first way he prettied himself, and runs a claw along the 3 lipstick brands he has. "Which one will prefect my look?" He always saves the lipstick for last. Lipstick is the perfect finishing touch after picking out a new shirt or doing something to change his outfit. Speaking of outfit, he has not picked one yet!

He rushes to his warddrobes and picks out a different kind of armor- Chest plate but no arms? Nope. He tosses it on the floor. The shiny outfit? He's worn it all day! His leather jacket? Perhaps... Jetblack leather jacket and very tight, shiny pants. He tries them with shiny new pair of black boots "Sexy, Crimsèn, sexy. I do believe I have the outfit." He walks over to where the make up and picks up the lipstick. "And now for the finishing touch."

"What finishing touch?"

Crim freezes. He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. The voice of Theron Shan speaks, "Are you... Is that makeup?"

Crim slowly turns around, lipstick dropping from his hands. Wide sith eyes meet wide human eyes. "It is makeup," Theron answers his own question. Crim's eyes dart between Theron and the lipstick. Come on, Crim, he thought to himself, say something! Two minutes that feel like two decades pass and Crim finds his voice. "I... I... Uh... Well... you see... I can explain!"

Theron walked up slowly to where the make up supplies were in front of Crim. He looked between them and Crim, and slowly a smile crept across his face, and a chuckle leaves his lips. "So that's where you sneak off to some nights- shopping for eyeliner, foundation, and how may lipstick brands do you need?"

"I..." Crim is still stunned. He is more speechless than when he was frozen in the carbonite. He looks down and mumbles, "I'm not becoming a woman."

Theron looked up, confusion on his face. "Who said you were?"

Crim's words come out quickly: "I am not beocming a a woman - nothing against transwomen - I just want to wear make up. It looks good on me... Brings out my eyes and ridges... It also helps cover up a lot of my scars. So why should I not wear make up. Please don't hate me for this... I'm a man through and through and have nothing against transwomen I just have always..."

"Love," Theron says in a low and soft voice, "take a breath. You're starting to talk in circles."

Crim takes a few breaths. "I... You.. We... Are you... Angry with me? Do you wish to break up with me? Do you hate me?"

"Why would I be mad?" Theron shakes his head. "Surprised? Yes. Mad? No. You wearing make up is hardly a good enough reason for me to hate you, nevermind break up with you... Why do you think it is?"

"Well, not everyday you find out your boyfriend is... a... a crossdresser. It's shameful, isn't it?"

"Now don't talk like that Crim. Why is it shameful you wear makeup? It's not like you applied it incorrectly. If anything," he takes a step back and looks Crim over, "I'd say it brings out your best features."

Crim looks away with eyes so downcast Theron feared they might fall out. "Up until I was 15 I lived in a house with *very* rigid rules regarding sexuality and gender roles. In so many ways I have freed myself from most of it. But... this one little piece was always a sore spot."

Theron reaches down and picks up the lipstick, takes Crim's hand puts it in it. "Love, I love you. Make up and all. So, please finish the look."

Crim looks up, eyes widened. He was afraid to breath, he was so unsure of what to do. Theron sighed- This was not going to be easy. Theron slowly pried the lipstick away and opened it. "So do you have to... Wait, why such a light red? Your skin is tanned now, isn't it?"

Crim nodded. His voice and movements were slow and quiet: "They- I mean it is, yes. Why?"

Theron set it down and picked up a darker shade of lipstick and asked tentatively, "Could you open your mouth?"

Crim opened his mouth wide with a small nod. Theron opened the lipstick and slowly worked it around Crim's lips. Although Theron had no force awareness, he could tell Crim was still in shock from being caught and Theron's response. Is he expecting me to dump him? Beat him? Gods what kind of house was he raised in?! Not that I should talk. Narrow minds are born daily. Theron steps back and the man he's fallen in love with. His eyes do not leave Crim's face as Crim turns around and faces himself in the mirror. "I like it. I like it."

Theron quietly wraps arms around Crim's waist. "Yet, you still feel shame in wearing it don't you?"

Crim nods, glances at Theron out of the corner of his eyes hidden by hair. Theron smiles. "Well don't. I am not ashamed of it. If anything, I admire you more for it!"

Finally, Theron saw tension leave Crim's shoulders and back. "Right. Right. It's not a problem. Not a problem at all."

Theron leaned up and whispered into Crim's ear: "There is a problem- You're fully dressed in a clothing-optional party. That cannot continue."

Crim turns around in Theron's arms and gives him a deep kiss. "Apologies," Crim whispered back, voice drenched in desire, "I will make it up to you."

Theron could not have asked for a better evening.


End file.
